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While changing attitudes toward marriage seem to have affected Americans of all races and ethnicities, one group in particular has had a harder time taking that walk down the aisle: black women.In honor of Black History Month during the month of February, we decided to delve into exactly what’s going on. A New York Times op-ed piece sparked major discussion when Angela Stanley, a single black female, and a researcher at the Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity at Ohio State University, discussed black women and marriage openly in the media. Men who have protected and supported me through some of the darkest days of my life. I might even spend an evening charming some former frat bros at the bar for my personal amusement. It was just there in the back of my mind: I can hang out, work with, live next to and even call white men friends, but I don’t date them. Made me feel a bit hypocritical and narrow-minded, two states I actively work to avoid. One is named after Nathan Bedford Forrest, a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army. Both are men I would trust to raise and protect my son should the need arise. Or wonder whether Justin Timberlake’s prowess on the dance floor translated into, well, other areas. It was not a hard-and-fast rule, as in: I don’t date white guys.In fact, it seemed like the media was obsessing about it much more than they were. And once they became financially successful—buying their own cars, or homes, and paying for a nice lifestyle on their own—there wasn’t an economic incentive to find a man to take care of them.One frequently mentioned stat shows that black women are graduating from college at twice the rate of black men.

Kanye West once rapped about how successful black men will "leave your ass for a white girl," and then put himself into that box by marrying a white woman, furthering the pervasiveness of flawed, generic ideas about interracial relationships.

An oft-cited figure, according to Stanley, is that 70% of black women are unmarried. In reality, the percentage only applies to women ages 25 to 29—and, for a variety of reasons, black women tend to marry later.

To get to the bottom of this debate, we sat down with an expert: Nika C. Beamon wrote the book precisely because she was inundated with media chatter about depressing stats on the black female marriage experience. and, in particular, how it’s related to women’s personal finance. You wrote a whole book about black women and the choice of whether to marry.

So I decided to explore why I could love white men like family but not envision them as potential partners. Love for men who move through the world in ways that remind me of my father. A black man comfortable in his skin and walking in his purpose remains the ideal. There is also the fact that I was raised a good Southern black woman, albeit one freer than most.

Fear of being ostracized by those very same men or fetishized by their white counterparts. I grew up surrounded by handsome black men who were strong-minded, hard-working, upwardly mobile and worldly. At a home, it was understood that if Billy Dee Williams — not Paul Newman, not Richard Gere — should ever knock on our door, my mother was leaving with him. Still, as a rule, good Southern black women do not dishonor their communities or betray their history by willingly sleeping with white men. The same grace that is extended to black men who date white women is not as easily extended to black women who do the same.




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